Pithy Title Composed of SEO Buzzwords
Vague italic statement that repeats the title and introduces SUBJECT. Presumptuous assertion about a subjective situation, followed by existential question about a resolution?
Space Filler Font
Large first letter to add impact to overarching sentence about the state of the world. Broad application of the SUBJECT to that state. Ominous statement about existential implications of such environment. Presenting loose implications as a big problem.
Self-deprecating admission of, also, being previously ignorant of the implications. Conjunctive adverb, followed by steady affirmation that it is, in fact, a problem. Assurance to the reader that the article will provide not just one, but two solutions.
Enthusiastic segue!
Actual Solution
“Loosely related quote including SUBJECT” — Einstein, probably
Belated definition of SUBJECT in case the reader wasn’t already aware. Re-wording the first sentence of a wikipedia article.
Repeat of the data shown in chart. Lame joke involving an outlier.
Wordy paragraph that pontificates on the findings. Interim question about the significance? Follow up wonderment to further build suspense. Final resolution of problem with actual solution.
The concluding sentence, but in a large, centralized font
Teaser that, potentially, there is another option…
Fake Solution
Asks reader to consider a hypothetical curveball? Ad hoc opinions fabricating a second resolution. Further ambiguous phrasing with notably shoddier writing form.
Short final paragraph composed of limited information, buffered by a statement that actual solution is probably better in most cases.
Conclusion
Sentence repeating the problem.
Sentence summarizing actual solution.
Sentence summarizing fake solution.
Declaration that actual solution is superior. Posing choice of actual solution as contrarian, despite being popular and well-known.
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Final platitude reminding reader that, despite one thing… possibly, other thing.
